Saw*Kick Media » Ian Tough Adams

Red Sux Nation

Ian Tough Adams — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 15:13:18 +0000

(Note: Ian is temporarily insane; his id will be posting the article today. Saw*Kick and Ian are not responsible for events presented as facts herein.) I’m not bitter, the series is still early. This isn’t an attack on the Red Sox so much as it is on “Red Sox Nation” and all the A-Holes who inhabit it. Anyone who knows a Red Sox fan can attest to what I’m talking about, the arrogance, the hypocrisy, the stupid accents, and all the other endearing traits that make Boston fans the bane of all mankind. (more…)

The Temptation of Linkin Park

Ian Tough Adams — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 21:09:34 +0000

Have you ever met a friend of a friend that you weren’t quite sure about, but accepted them because surely your bud wouldn’t hang out with a total tool? That has very little to do with this article on Linkin Park, but it sets the stage nicely, don’t you agree?

Linkin Park was the quintessential junior high – early high school band, the king of the rap/rock roost. They were beloved by the hardcore/metal crowd to the emo/rap crowd and everyone in between. This may is exactly why they lost favor with me. (more…)

S*KM Presents: Bad Fiction “Gas Man” Edition

Ian Tough Adams — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:40:45 +0000

Ian “Tough” Adams kept fiddling with his car radio. There wasn’t much else to do while he waited for the car in front of him to pay for its gas. The upcoming holiday weekend caused some price jumps at the pump, but such details never shortened the lines. The car in front of him finally pulled away, Ian shifted and his car crept towards the vacant pump.

Tough slammed on the breaks at the sound of squealing tires, in an instant a black Porsche with tinted windows and “RUJELUS” on the license plate flew in off the street; nearly disemboweling a few pedestrians and swooped in front of Ian’s car at the pump. (more…)

The Better Fab Four? A Fair and Balanced Analysis.

Ian Tough Adams — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 23:17:50 +0000

The name “Fab Four” is often used in reference to a certain pop/rock act from Britain whose name escapes me at the moment. Oh right, The Beatles. There have been many great quartets throughout the ages, but nothing seems to measure up to the timeless lads from Liverpool. Their music was, is, and will probably forever be played and enjoyed by millions around the world. Their presence in pop culture certainly warrants the title “Fab Four”, but is there another contender from the not so distant past that can challenge for this designation? I submit the following challengers: Some call them “Heroes in a Half-Shell” or “Radical Reptiles”, but you know them better as Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! (more…)

Rabbit Stew for Easter? Don’t Mind if I do!

Ian Tough Adams — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 13:27:29 +0000

Many of our Saw*Kick readers may be shocked at the following revelation; those of weak constitutions should cease reading and do a Sudoku instead… The Easter Bunny is very real, as real as the fear that grips me today. I say this without the usual sarcastic/drunken overtones that my column usually contains; the information I’m about to share with you could be of life-saving value. So come closer, and don’t snicker, dick. (more…)

Delta Zeta says “No more fat chicks,” and the crowd goes wild!

Ian Tough Adams — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 11:06:27 +0000

I am not a fan of fraternities and so called “Greek” life in general. I think they’re lame, and serve as little more than an escape for sexually ambiguous young men to indulge in questionable fetishes, while putting on the front of being interested in women (I’m looking at you, Phi Tau). (more…)

Seminal Albums in Music History: “The Gift of Game”

Ian Tough Adams — Wed, 31 Jan 2007 10:46:39 +0000

The year was 1999: War erupted in Kosovo, Joe DiMaggio shuffled off this mortal coil, and “The Blair Witch Project” pissed on Americans better judgment. As tumultuous as 1999 was for the world in general, the music industry was in far worse shape. It was the year of “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, the world was introduced to Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez had a NUMBER ONE ALBUM, and Will Smith invited us to Miami. Amid all of the disposable pop and no talent whores emerged some funky sounds from a little town formerly known as Los Angeles, but it’ll always be “Crazy Town” to me. (more…)

Have a Merry Pirate Christmas!

Ian Tough Adams — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 23:16:32 +0000

In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, it’s very easy to lose sight of the truly important matters in life. Christmas means something different for everyone; for some, it’s meant to be a solemn celebration of the birth of Christ. For others, it’s meant as a time of gift-giving, gift-receiving, and general merriment. I’m here to tell you those reasons aren’t good enough. It’s a little known fact that pirates were the first people to celebrate Christmas. (more…)

Name one good soccer movie that doesn’t have a dog

Ian Tough Adams — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 02:29:45 +0000

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve made my presence felt in the Saw*Kick community, far too long. For that I apologize, can we still be friends? Anyway, let’s see if we can move forward: Today I’m writing in response to a heated exchange between The J-Man and Team Alpha here on the WSKR radio waves regarding the value of soccer. Having enjoyed participating in several seasons for both sports, I consider myself a pretty fair arbiter between supporters of the two sports. There are a few questions we must ask regarding the value of soccer in our society, I’ll try to answer them as best I can, if that’s not good enough you can go to hell. (more…)

Deal? You bet your ass!

Ian Tough Adams — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 22:12:56 +0000

Ever since the end of “Seinfeld” I’ve felt emptiness; there just hasn’t been anything on TV worth watching. “The Simpson’s” hasn’t produced anything worth watching in five years, and professional wrestling just isn’t what it used to be. I thought I was doomed to live the rest of my viewing life without fulfilling television; I now find myself happily mistaken. I’m here to declare “Deal or No Deal” to be the most addictive game show, nay, the GREATEST TELEVISION SHOW OF ALL TIME.

(more…)