The evolving Eastern Conference playoff picture is nowhere near as interesting as the one developing on the other side of the league, but an interesting wrinkle has emerged for the Cleveland Cavaliers: As they’ve pretty much secured the No. 4 seed, the Washington Wizards have come up and, for at least the time, taken the No. 5 seed from the Toronto Raptors.
This means that, potentially, the Cavs would host the Wiz in the first round of the playoffs. While the Eastern Conference bracket will be mostly a joke (I think No. 1 Boston would play the Rutgers women team, No. 2 Detroit is slated to play the defunct-Cleveland Rockers and so on), this match-up would be one of the most intriguing in the league. Not only have the Cavs felled the Wizards two postseason’s in a row – under some questionable circumstances – but the rivalry between these two teams is growing. Forget the rough regular season games these two teams have had this year – including a merciless blowout by the Cavs when the Wizards were hot – because the most interesting portion of the rivalry has to be LeBron James vs. DeShawn Stevenson.
For those that haven’t heard, I will sum up the situation: LeBron and DeShawn have been matched up against each other a few times this year and LeBron may or may not have said some bad things about Stevenson to mutual friend Drew Gooden. Consequently, Gooden may or may not have tattled. Either way, Stevenson, who hangs in some similar circles as LeBron (he’s dated two former member’s of Destiny’s Child, the group formerly led by Jay-Z’s main squeeze Beyonce), told the media that LeBron was overrated. LeBron, freshly minted as the Cavs all-time leading scorer, responded in kind: he compared himself to Jay-Z and Stevenson’s career to the short-term run by hip-hop’s most forgettable star Soulja Boy.
Sure, it’s as dramatic as a high school fight in the lunchroom, but at least it’s interesting. And, to give Stevenson a fair shake, I’ve decide to see if there’s really a reason for the two to have beef. I mean, if LeBron, the guy who’s leading the league in scoring, is overrated, then I think a tale of the tape will reveal it. So I’ve put Stevenson and LeBron side by side to see who really deserves to be called Jay-Z and who really deserves to be called Jay-Z.
Here’s the tale of the tape on the two feuding parties. The winner of each category will earn a Jay-Z, the loser a Soulja Boy. Let’s crank that.
2007-08 Scoring average (per game)
LeBron 30.8 Jay-Z
Stevenson 11.0 Soulja Boy
Rebounds
LeBron 8.2 Jay-Z
Stevenson 2.9 Soulja Boy
Assists
LeBron 7.3 Jay-Z
Stevenson 3.2 Soulja Boy
Field goal percentage
LeBron 48.6% Jay-Z
Stevenson 37.9% Soulja Boy
Free throw percentage
LeBron 71.5% Soulja Boy
Stevenson 79.7% Jay-Z
Steals
LeBron 1.83 Jay-Z
Stevenson 0.81 Soulja Boy
Blocks
LeBron 1.03 Jay-Z
Stevenson 0.22 Soulja Boy
Salary
LeBron $13,041,250 Jay-Z
Stevenson $3,348,215 Soulja Boy
Height
LeBron 6-foot-8* Jay-Z
Stevenson 6-foot-5 Soulja Boy
Weight
LeBron 240 pounds* Jay-Z
Stevenson 218 pounds Soulja Boy
Playoffs head-to-head
LeBron 2-0 Jay-Z
Stevenson 0-2 Soulja Boy
*Rumors that LeBron has grown to 6-foot-9, 260 pounds this season seem to be true, but I cannot 100 percent confirm them. I’ve seen reports that he’s confirmed that he grew, but have not seen a direct statement from him or the team on the matter. If they are true, wow. That’s Jay-Z and B.I.G. put together.
Overall, LeBron is Jay-Z by a landslide, taking an 11-1 win. As LeBron proves here, if the one-hit wonder fits…
- Apart from his bottomless knowledge of everything Cavs, Indians and Browns, MoneyMike is also S*KM’s senior rap/hip-hop correspondent. If you ask him nicely, he’ll show you his ticket stubs from the old Up In Smoke tours.
LeBron, playing in New York in two years - Jay-z
DeShawn, playing in the NBDL in two years - Soulja Boy
yah man deshawn is just a dumbass with a tiny pee pee. He aint got shit on lebron. Far as im concerned, the only thing he good at is blowing soulja boy in the back. haha giggity. ha ha ha ha, clack clack clack. you dead.