Saw*Kick Media

So many things happened to the Cavs in the last week – the trade, the short-handed win against the Wizards, the first big win with the new unit – that I don’t have time for a clever insult to all my loyal readers about how you live with your parents.
To save valuable time that you need for watching free porn previews before your mom comes home, let’s dive into a Cavs blog.

The trade
I will not go over the trade part for part, as it’s now several days old and you know what good byes were said and who we welcomed into town. The basics are as such: We got deeper in the front court, added some perimeter scoring and acquired a suitable guy to run the point.

Here’s what it did: It brought life back to this team. We all knew that Larry Hughes, for whatever reason, was never going to fit into Mike Brown’s offense. Moreover, Drew Gooden, the other big name in the trade from our end, was becoming more inefficient with each day of not shaving – theories exist that there was a reverse Samson element to his beard. With the insertion of Ben Wallace, Delonte West, Joe ‘Don’t call me Generic NBA player No. 32’ Smith and Wally Szczerbiak this team filled some gaps and created some new ones. But, as you may have noticed this weekend, there is a new energy to this team because moves were made. This wasn’t just GM Danny Ferry making a move to make a move – he’s been in love with West as a prospect for some time now – but it really showed that a shift in energy was a big thing this team needed.

Some will argue that it will leave the Cavs cash strapped in the next few years – technically it will not because Wallace’s contract was frontloaded and after this year he will make similar money to Hughes – but if things start to come together I think Ferry and owner Dan Gilbert will be able to comfortably sign off on checks to the league office for going over the cap.
I will not be a stupid national pundit and fill you with what I call Stephen A. Smith philosophy – diatribes about why I do or do not like a player based purely on opinion and saying at the end of the day – but I will say that I have a good feeling about this trade. Of course, I’m the same guy who loved resigning Drew Gooden…

Immediate gratification thy name is Ben
There is no surefire way to know a trade is going to work out until, well, it works out, but last night’s game was a beautiful spark for the Cleve. Only Delonte West had a questionable performance – knocking down just 2-of-12 shots – but even he was able to spread the floor with his speed and dish out six assists.

As for Ben Wallace, Wally Szczerbiak and Joe Smith, there was an immediate impact that must have tickled Dan Gilbert’s nether regions as he sat in on the FSN broadcast with Fred McLeod and Austin Carr last night. (Complete side note: Did anyone else ever think that McLeod and Gilbert looked so similar before seeing them sit side-by-side, dressed in suits and wearing headsets? I have thought, on occasion, that they had a similar cut, but their air time together last night convinced me that they were brothers. Or at least cousins.) Wallace played a high-energy game that made the Grizzlies slow front court look like it was made up of Darko Milicic and Kwame Brown and Smith gave the offensive threat off the bench that this team needs. Meanwhile Szczerbiak took a while to find his stroke but showed that he has no problem knocking down an open three.

It’s S-z-c-z-e-r-b-i-a-k
Low-brow blogs and conversation sites will mutilate his name for the next few months as he becomes a part of this town, but Wally’s last name is Szczerbiak. Add it to your PC’s dictionary now, as I did this morning, to avoid squiggly red lines.
Here’s a fast fact about his name: He is the only player in American professional sports to have a last name with two Zs padding a consonant. Look it up.

Why I like Joe Smith
National and local media have made the trade out to be Larry and Drew for Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak and pieces going each way, but the hidden juice to this trade was Joe ‘Don’t call me Generic NBA player No. 32’ Smith. MoneyMike has long desired a big man like Smith for the Cavs bench. Forget that he’s a tailor-made NBA video game protype – long, generic tattoos, decent at everything but superb in nothing – Smith is the kind of player you want on your team in the playoffs. Harkin back to playoff failures past where the Cavs have been beat up by aging big men like Antonio McDyess. It always seems that other teams have annoying big men who can spread the floor, hit the 15-foot jump shot and play when the starters are in foul trouble. This is not a discredit to Anderson Varejao, who has his own blend of talents, but we have never had a big man off the bench who can pull his defender from the lane and hit shots.

Oh, Drew, Larry, it’s you…
A true ex-girlfriend spotting will occur for the Cavs this Sunday when the Chicago Bulls come to town. The Bulls, who now have a heavy dose of Drew Gooden’s beard and Larry Hughes’ jump shot in their basketball diet, become the NBA equivalent of running into your ex while on a date at a fancy restaurant with your new lady friend.

I’m sure there will be plenty of boos in The Q that night, those remembering Larry’s offensive ineptitude or Drew’s child-like focus on the game, but it won’t really be necessary. Like all breakups, this one had it’s high points – nights where Drew would catch fire and look to his hands as if they had some sort of basketball wizardy, or the Eastern Conference Finals last season when Larry earned a standing O for his attempt to play through a foot injury. But it also had its low points – Drew cutting his hair thatch, Larry’s continued injury woes. The fact of the matter is we’re all better off now, and there’s no reason to resonate past inequities.

So, yeah, there will be an awkward moment when we first see Drew in different colors. Does he like those colors better, we’ll wonder? Does he miss the warm embrace of a gimme LeBron pass? Is he happier walking the streets of the Second City than he was walking E. 4th street? These are questions we’ll never really get an answer to. I’m sure he and Larry (and Shannon Brown and Cedric Simmons) will pretend to be happy, but there is no way of knowing for sure. Regardless, it took that breakup for the Cavs to have a new start and a chance at something better. Nobody, except one with the infinite wisdom of Stephen A. Smith, who is a seer of all things without actually having to consider any elements of a real basketball game, can know if this trade will work. But if it does, I think the next time we see Larry and Drew, after we get through this awkward phase, will be like when Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston met up at the end of the “Break Up.” We’ll all be a little richer for the experience, and Aniston (AKA the Cavs) will be hot and happy.

And, yes, I just threw a romantic comedy experience into a Cavs conversation. Some said it couldn’t be done, but I had to do something for all the female readers (yes, I have confirmed word that we have two now) out there. Sometimes I care too much.

-MoneyMike is officially the biggest Joe Smith fan in town. If you don’t believe him, bring a scale to his mansion on the west side of Cleveland and weigh him.

S*KM’s most self proclaiming writer tries to catch up with all the Cavalier action that took place this past week.

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