Saw*Kick Media

So today is the national championship game and it’s time to realize that there is no way Ohio State can win.

This doesn’t come from my heart or desire, it comes from pure football facts. After all, all of the pundits have picked LSU, and 78 percent of Americans on ESPN’s big football poll have promised the Tigers will crack Ohio’s state nut.

So, why even play the game if there is no chance that a Big 11 team could ever beat an SEC team? My guess is advertising dollars.

But wait! Yesterday Howie Long suddenly jumped on the Buckeyes’ bandwagon, promising that Jim Tressel would not allow his troops to fall so short in battle in back to back years.

Why would Long, a veteran pro football analyst, throw his square head in the prognosticators ring when it comes to college predictions? Because it is now time for national pundits to play the shock and awe pick ‘em game. The shock and awe is when the entire nation of punditry shifts one way and then about 25 percent of them change their mind in the final 48 hours to shock the viewer. Watch carefully what happens today and tonight as many try to get you to gasp aloud with the surprise pick.

The fact of the matter is most pundits don’t get to see what they talk about. Instead, they follow trends to be safe. After watching the Buckeyes get dismantled last year in the game that we do not mention, an SEC-Big 11 match up this year with a depleted Ohio State team would obviously net the same results. There’s your story, send it to the film room.

But when a game is hyped – and the amount of time between the end of college football season and its national championship game allows for more hype than one can tolerate – taking the easy and obvious path becomes boring. Who wants to hear another television personality cover for LSU’s defensive shortcomings by saying that Glen Dorsey is healthy and the Big 11 just can’t compete with SEC speed?

So the creative pundits put their brains together and come up with a great idea: we’ll take the pick less traveled.
The results are fool-proof. If the pick less traveled wins, they come out as football geniuses. If that pick loses, well, of course they were going to lose, that’s why it was a gutsy pick!

There was a great case of this yesterday on the much-maligned NFL Network. On the network’s post-game playoff show Deion Sanders picked the Jaguars to beat the Patriots. Never you mind that Sanders picked the Patriots to win the Super Bowl several weeks ago and then reiterated that pick after the playoffs were set. Now that Sanders watched Jacksonville sneak out of Pittsburgh with a 31-29 win he feels confident in saying that a 16-0 team will lose.

Does Neon believe this? No. But he does believe that saying it will get him more attention. And, again, if he’s right he can look back next week and say he was the only guy on the Jaguars bandwagon.

Watch carefully for this flip tonight on the national radio and television talk shows. Most people who pick Ohio State will make some sort of puffed-up chest argument about how they have a feeling, as if the only way a Big 11 champion could win a national title is if there was some special mystery about it.

After you see this a few times turn you TV off and realize these guys don’t know anything. Root for whomever you’d like and know that it should actually be a fairly balanced game.

MoneyMike’s pick: OSU 24, LSU 21. What?! That’s right, I just have a feeling about these Buckeyes.

On the NFL playoffs: It pains me for obvious reasons that the Browns fell short of the playoffs, but the Titans-Chargers game yesterday only added salt to my wounds. Was there anyone who, after watching that game, felt like the Titans could have competed with any team in the playoffs besides one led by Norv Turner? Yes, the Titans hung tough by running the ball for about 58 minutes of the game, but their offense is putrid. How they scored enough points to win 10 games this year is a mystery to me.

In the NFC, the football gods smiled on the Giants for their heartfelt attempt to beat the Patriots in week 17. And, after listening to Joe Buck’s laud for Jeff Garcia in the pregame, the rat quarterback showed the same skittish feet in the pocket that made him ineffective in the Cleve. I nearly called Fox in the fourth quarter to answer Buck’s first quarter question about why Garcia has journeyman status, ‘Hey, Joe, here’s why he’s played for five teams in five years.’

Meanwhile, here’s a riddle I will answer for you in the next sentence: What has absolutely no television appeal and more than five million people watching? The Redskins-Seahawks game. Though I was rooting for the ‘Skins because of their tragic season, does anyone believe either of these two teams is good enough to compete beyond next week?

Finally, Pittsburgh lost to the Jaguars, which made me happy. It was the only playoff game I didn’t watch, however, so I will not comment on it any further, lest I become a national pundit.

A brief note on the new ‘American Gladiators’: Anyone who tuned into the new ‘American Gladiators’ last night must have had a similar feeling of horror come over their body as the show went on. At first, my Resident Lady Friend noted that former WWF/WWE world champion and wrestling icon Hulk Hogan was the perfect host for a show that blurred the thin line between an athletic competition for money and pro wrestling. But, to my horror, someone at the show decided it would be a good idea to let Hogan do the interviews in between events.

For the record, interviews with athletes, or in this case amateur contenders, are always terrible when they come after a sporting event no matter what reporter is on the case. I really don’t need someone who is tired and bleeding to tell me that they are tired and bleeding; I adapt to context clues. But this awkward 30 seconds is made worse when Hogan spits out some sort of declarative statement and then puts the microphone in someone’s face.

NBC, Hulk Hogan is good at many things: He can lift the eighth wonder of the world and pin him in front of a large crowd; he can wear a dressy boa and rip off his shirt and still exude masculinity in a way that makes testosterone jealous; he can change the entire dynamic of the NWO. One of Hogan’s few faults in life, however, is interviewing people. It requires a certain finesse and delicacy that he lacks. If this trend is going to continue, at least tell Hogan that the proper thing to do before putting a microphone in someone’s face is to ask a question, not make a declarative statement that ends in brother.

New Year’s resolutions and the cold: Last week MoneyMike was very honest with you. It was foretold that you would fail on your New Year’s resolution, particularly if it pertained to weight loss or money gained. Now, just seven days into the new year, I’m already seeing the people of west Cleveland fall short of their goals. Here’s a brief synopsis: My visit to the Lakewood YMCA on Wednesday January 2 was miserable. I went around 6 p.m. and the parking lot was so full that I had to make four laps before finding a spot. By Saturday, when I went a bit earlier, the lot was less than half full and one of the cycling classes held upstairs was cancelled due to lack of participation.

I wonder if those people who skipped out on cycling classes were out buying fatty foods with their high interest credit cards…

This is what I owe the Cavs: I’ve been a bad Cavs fan of late, but I do owe them this much: they have been formally upgraded from awful to mediocre.

MoneyMike’s Green with Irony Watch (running item): The Green with Irony Watch will return next week, as I was too busy watching the New Hampshire debates this weekend to do my usual research on the topic.

Next Week: With the Iowa Caucus and the New Hampshire Primary out of the way, your decision on whom to vote for has been made for you — how perfect. And I’ll make a Super Bowl prediction before I even know what teams are playing. Here’s a hint: The Titans won’t win.

-MoneyMike is going to the gym tonight, so if you could just give up your New Year’s resolution, and your spot by the door of the Lakewood Y, he’d really appreciate it.

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