Because of the huge influx of e-mails I’ve gotten since the start of the Cavs season – which has doubled my previous high for any season that I’ve been at S*KM – I thought I would address some things going on for LeBron’s boys. Of course, the e-mails that I’ve received have been soiled by the fact that they come from the corrupt and just above functionally illiterate brains of the S*KM’s readers, so I figured I’d just make up some e-mails instead.
And, yes, I’m aware that I stole this format from Double C. If he has a problem with that, he knows where to find me. Let’s get to the e-mails – remember, these are real questions from fictional readers.
- Starting off the season 5-5 was actually pretty impressive for the Cavs considering they already made the West coast trip where they usually stub their toe and they beat Carlos Boozer and a good Utah team Friday night. Are you encouraged by this stretch? – Leslie DeCapua, Parma, Ohio.
Through the first 10 games of the season I am very impressed. Minus Donyell Marshall – who whether you like it or not they need for minutes off the bench – and holdout Anderson Varejao I thought they would be lucky to get through this stretch at 4-6. Realistically I thought they would be 3-7. What we’ve seen so far is a different Drew Gooden, Zydrunas Ilgauskas and LeBron James. We all know LeBron can take over a game when he wants to, but he now seems to have that desire very early in the season.
Similarly, Gooden and Z have really built that same attitude, even if they can’t come through as well with their play. Z looks like he’s reengerized by his new haircut and Gooden seems to be remembering plays. More importantly, however, is that they all played well Friday night to make Boozer 0-2 in his return trips to The Q.
Larry Hughes is going to miss at least a month (read: more than a month) with a leg injury. This led the AP to tag him in the story about his injury as ‘the fragile player’ – fair assessment? - Tom D., Solon, Ohio.
Does a bear do his business in the woods? When a guy has serious injuries over and over again it’s tough to call him injury-prone. Frank Gore comes to mind because he tears knee ligaments when he gets hurt so there’s no question about whether or not he could play through it or if he’s being a bit of a baby. Larry Hughes… well, Larry has missed more than 40 games with a broken finger, has rolled his ankles on half a dozen occasions and is now missing time with what has been described as a deep bone bruise. No one is saying he’s not tough – because we all know he isn’t.
- Even though the Cavs snuck by the Jazz 99-94 on Friday night, you had to have noticed that Boozer is one of the top 10 players in the game, right? I know you’ve led the rally against Booze, but admit that you’d love to have him back. He’s going 25/11/3 a game this year for a 7-4 Jazz team. – Tucker, Garfield Heights, Ohio.
Please contract AIDS during an attack from a horny and oversized pit bull.
-So it’s been 10 games and Andy is still out of the country, still eating waffles and still doesn’t seem to be too interested in working out a deal with Danny Ferry, will we see him in a Cavs uniform this season? – Rodney, Kent, Ohio
If we see him in a Cavs jersey it will be two sizes larger than the one he wore last year (ZING!). At this point, I think we are seeing that the Cavs will be better off without Andy down the stretch and the less he takes care of himself, and the more Cedric Simmons shows he can play defense by blocking shots and not flopping, the easier it will be for this divorce to happen. Andy is not a $10 million man and as much as we’ll all miss ‘Wig Day’ at The Q, Ferry knows he would be a fool to have another mediocre player eating up more than 20 percent of his cap room – after all, that’s Larry Hughes’ role.
That’s all for the mailbag this week. I know you are all dying to hear my thoughts on the Browns improbable win over the Ravens yesterday, but I’m out of time. For a quick summation I will just say this: There have been maybe three times in my entire life where I felt like God, or Karma, or whatever Bigger Force it is that people pray to nowadays, has been on the side of Cleveland. When the referees originally signaled Dawson’s kick incomplete I looked up at the sky and said, ‘Really?’ When the call was correctly reversed, thus giving the Ravens a square kick in the crotch, I felt like that was the Bigger Force’s way of saying, ‘I guess I owe you guys a couple.’ And he/she still does, by the way, but it was nice to get one during what is really shaping up to be a special season for the Browns. If I told you before the season that this team would be 11 weeks into the season without losing back-to-back games, would you have believed me? What a fun season.
In other news:
I had a great Wednesday through Sunday stretch here in the Cleve that made me happy I live here. I have two such weeks every year, which is why I continue to turn down far more lucrative offers to spend my free time writing for sites in San Diego and Phoenix that also market unemployed sports fans who live with their parents.
Wednesday night I was lucky enough to spend some time with The Zack, the man who knows sports, as we took both of our Resident Lady Friends to see Michael Ian Black at the Grog Shop. Not only is MIB tastefully named, to steal a line from TMQ, but he also does a great live show that features a good deal of material made up on the spot. MoneyMike has long enjoyed comedians who don’t just use the same material night in and night out, instead playing to the local crowd, season and time.
I saw more of this quick-on-the-feet comedy on Thursday night when the Resident Lady Friend and I saw Adam Ferrara at Hilarities downtown. Though MIB was solid, Ferrara took the comedic cake, dishing out nearly an hour of insanely personal humor that ranged from his father nearly dying of cancer to why he drinks Jamaican coffee on the pot. If you get a chance to see either of these guys – and I know they both play Cleveland from time to time, go see them. I promise you it’s a much better use of time than reading my columns.
For a sportsman like me, the weekend was capped with Ohio State’s fourth straight win over Michigan and the Browns improbable win over the Ravens. In between, however, The Zack and I had a chance to take in a high school playoff game at Lakewood Stadium – conveniently located just three blocks from the MoneyMike Mansion – and see Mentor sneak by Glennville 41-40 in the Division I regional semifinal playoff game. If you like efficient offense at the amateur level, I commend you to go see Mentor. They could teach Maurice Carthon a thing or two about offense, I’ll tell you that. The site and opponent for the Cardinals next game had not been announced at the time of this article, but you can find them on Mentor’s team site some time today.
Next week: The 11-game analysis of the DreamBoat/Derek Anderson question AND does Clorox Bleach really make your whites whiter? I’ll look into the reality of this claim and the potential racial implications.
-MoneyMike is S*KM’s senior Cavs writer and NBA commentator. If you have any thoughts on basketball that are both complete sentences and have nothing to do with comparing the rise of LeBron James to you living in your mom’s basement, please send him an e-mail at cottrill.m@gmail.com