I want to take some time out this morning to tell you that you’re going to be OK. I know it seems hard to believe, and it still hurts, but it’s not all bad that the Browns lost to the Steelers.
That doesn’t make it right, or make Ben Worthlisberger any less of a tool, but I want you to find solace in the 31-28 loss.
How is it possible that a compulsive overanalyzer with a whining problem can feel any comfort in a painful loss? Because as measuring sticks go, we came up just short of the elite.
You see boys and girls (well, let’s be honest and call you what you are, 20-something men who live in your mom’s basement), the great thing about a divisional opponent is that you get to see them twice, generally at two different phases of your season. Entering the first game with Pittsburgh the Browns were in turmoil: Joe Thomas was thrust into starting action and ineptitude was feared for the offensive line; Charlie Frye had won the 110-meter hurdle of a Special Olympics challenge called a three-man quarterback race; and Romeo Crennel was flipping coins to decide whether or not he should turn in his resignation or just let Phil Savage fire him.
The result of that game was a 34-7 pounding that gave Pittsburgh the all-time lead in the rivalry series and, after eight straight wins, left even football purists wondering if this rivalry had gone the way of an older brother beating up his little sister.
But after that pounding everything changed. Charlie Frye was shipped to Seattle for a late draft pick and some coffee beans and Derek Anderson was given a chance to develop. With his quicker release giving the line a better chance, they began to gel and Joe Thomas went from a rookie we hoped could start to a dominating lineman. Suddenly we were putting up points on the Patriots and then, during a three-week span, overcoming hurdle after hurdle to put together a winning streak – something that had been more rumor than tangible in Cleveland since the Browns returned.
Yesterday became a measuring stick. Here were our resurgent Browns, at 5-3, playing for first place in the AFC North.
And do you know what I saw?
Fighting.
Real AFC North fighting. It lasted all the way through to the snap when Phil Dawson made a 51-yard kick that, unfortunately, was set up from 53 yards. I saw it every time Pittsburgh got brave enough to put the ball within 10 yards of Josh Cribbs and he danced around special teams tacklers like they were from Cleveland. I saw that fight last until the Steelers took a knee on the last snap of the game and Browns defenders still pushed down the offensive linemen and words were minced.
It’s been seven weeks since that debacle in Cleveland, and this team has climbed the ranks to sit just outside of the NFL elite. Pittsburgh, sadly, is at the bottom of that elite status. When measured against the elite, the Browns came up two-yards short. After that opening game (and, please, try to remember that opening game - Charlie Frye pitter-pattering his feet to the tune of five sacks, Pittsburgh’s offense walking through the Browns defensive line), I had a conversation with The Zack, my sports confidant, where we agreed we just wanted to watch competitive football this season. That was our simple request. What we got instead was good football. We got a team that has been scraping and clawing its way to a winning record despite the fact that some guy named Robaire is our best defensive player.
So, did the loss yesterday hurt? Sure. But it wasn’t the square kick in the junk we got in week one. It was more of an intended crotch kick that landed around the mid-left thigh area and just grazed the tip a little bit. That still hurts, but after eight square crotch kicks, it felt like an Asian massage.
In other news: I promised an update on the Cavs West coast trip and some more notes on the Buckeyes this week, but what’s the point? The Buckeyes broke my heart on Saturday. The Cavs are 4-3 through what may shake out to be the roughest stretch of the season, but I couldn’t watch last night’s game after the football suffering I endured. Sorry to let you down.
Next week: The Cavs early season notebook (no, really, I’m going to write about the Cavs!), what happens when a spent football team visits Baltimore and I’m going to see Michael Ian Black and Adam Ferrara on consecutive nights – which one is funnier?
-MoneyMike is S*KM’s senior optimist writer. He also enjoys rainbows, rooting for Kansas, Oregon, LSU and West Virginia to lose in the same week and recycling. Send him an e-mail at cottrill.m@gmail.com for more positive reinforcement.
Adam Ferrara is a funnier comedian, but Michael Ian Black is a funnier actor (did you watch Stella when it was on Comedy Central).
I was actually impressed with the Browns yesterday. Impressed enough to send J-Man some IM’s singing the praises of DA and how he was the real QB and they should shop the dreamboat to Jacksonville, Carolina, and Minnesota.
Combined with me telling Crowell “There’s NO WAY that Illinois is going to lose to Ohio State” hours before that game. I could be the worst jinx in Ohio sports history.
God, I hate you.
Thanks for the kind words about the Browns.
Hate you.
As The Emperor said in “Return of the Jedi”:
“Good, I can feel your anger. I am unarmed. Take your weapon. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete. ”
Not surprisingly Darth Vader and The Emperor are my two favorite characters in the Star Wars movies.
See how your measuring stick looks, Money Mike the next time a Steelers fan walks up to you smiling at you, with his/her toothless grin, smelling of Fritos and says that we almost got them that time. The bottom line is they lost to the Steelers again and they always lose. The “almost win” does us absolutely no good here. That was an opportunity to finally get a gorilla off of our backs and we let them squirm away. as usual. Anyone who has been watching the Browns knew they could play with the Steelers but no one knew if we could beat them. We still don’t know. Romeo wasted 2 timeouts. Grantham needs to be questioned as a defensive mind (the blitz was working yesterday, why not on 3rd down? EVER?) and DA had a terrible game and could not complete a short pass. We HAVE to win that game if anyone is going to take us seriously. We are making a living beating bad teams. The Browns could go to the playoffs by beating only one playoff team (playoff team by default) and we know what happens to unproven teams in the playoffs. “Nice try, honey,” is something i’ll tell my daughter when I inevitably have one.