I’m back for another week, and I’m calling this one my victory lap. My Red Sox won the World Series in convincing fashion, Notre Dame didn’t lose, and Alex Rodriguez once again tried to make true fans care about him, and he was obviously shunned. More importantly, I was a perfect 5-0 on my highlight games last week, including the Tennessee upset win over South Carolina. I couldn’t be happier with all of these events transpiring.
I had to put up with your bullshit for a few weeks, now you have to look at the results.
This is how I felt this week:
Don’t worry Cleveland fans; this will be you some day … maybe.
Since it is getting down to the nitty gritty in the college football season I figured I’d go ahead and make my predictions for the Heisman. I’m updating this list from last week, and I’ll start making this a weekly feature until the season ends.
If I were important and had a ballot it would look like this:
The Heisman Award
1. Matt Ryan – Ryan is one of two people on this list (Woodson) who has a trademark win under his belt. His miraculous performance in the final moments of last week’s win over Virginia Tech has given him that one highlight play that we see when all the talking heads spew about who will win the Heisman. Right now the award’s is Ryan’s to lose.
2. Dennis Dixon – Dixon gets the chance to build off his average performance (but a win) against USC by taking a damn good Arizona State defense to the woodshed. If Dixon can play superhuman, and Ryan plays like he did last week, Dixon becomes the new leader.
3. Graham Harrell/Colt Brennan – You can’t really distinguish between these two, because they are the same quarterback. They both play in a system where they will throw upwards of 70 passes a game, and they are both on mediocre teams. I don’t care if Hawaii is undefeated, they still don’t belong in the top 20.
4. Tim Tebow – Part fullback, part quarterback, Tebow takes too many hits to last all the way until the end of the season. His stock will continue to fall, but now that Mike Hart is lost due to an injury, I can’t tell you who else deserves to be here.
5. Andre’ Woodson – Woodson had that huge win over LSU and then has just been good. To win the Heisman at a place like Kentucky you have to accomplish the unheard of, and Woodson isn’t doing that.
What a great weekend! The song for the weekend is Merle Haggard’s classic “I think I’ll just sit here and Drink”. Anyways, on the to the picks. As always, the home team is in caps.
New England over INDIANAPOLIS: That’s right, the most anticipated regular season clash in roughly twenty years will go to my Patriots, who will win by at least two touchdowns.
NOTRE DAME over Navy: Navy gave up 59 points to the D1-AA Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens last week. The fact that Notre Dame hasn’t scored 59 (actually 82) points all season still does not discourage me. The opposite is true; my resolve for my Irish is only stronger. And this week they will be playing for freshman tailback Robert Hughes, who tragically lost his brother earlier in the week when he was shot in Chicago during an altercation. This is the first year though that “the streak” might be challenged to a very uncomfortable degree.
Big 10
OHIO STATE over Wisconsin
Michigan over MICHIGAN STATE
PENN STATE over Purdue
Iowa over NORTHWESTERN
Illinois over MINNESOTA
INDIANA over Ball State
SEC
LSU over ALABAMA (Home Team)
South Carolina over ARKANSAS
FLORIDA over Vanderbilt
GEORGIA over Troy
AUBURN over Tennessee Tech
TENNESSEE over Louisiana-Lafayette
MISSISSIPPI over Northwestern State
Big 12
Kansas State over IOWA STATE
KANSAS over Nebraska
Texas Tech over BAYLOR
Texas over OKLAHOMA STATE
Missouri over COLORADO
OKLAHOMA over Texas A&M
PAC-10
ARIZONA (Home Team) over UCLA
STANFORD over Washington
OREGON over Arizona State
USC over Oregon State
CALIFORNIA over Washington State
ACC
Clemson over DUKE
VIRGINIA over Wake Forest
MIAMI (FL) over North Carolina State
Maryland over NORTH CAROLINA
BOSTON COLLEGE over Florida State
Big East
PITTSBURGH over Syracuse
SOUTH FLORIDA over Cincinnati
CONNECTICUT over Rutgers
MAC
Ohio over Temple
BOWLING GREEN over Akron
MIAMI (OH) over Buffalo
TOLEDO over Eastern Michigan
Conference USA
East Carolina over MEMPHIS
UTEP over RICE (Home Team)
UCF over Marshall
Southern Mississippi over UAB
Tulsa over TULANE
HOUSTON over Southern Methodist
Mountain West Conference
BYU over Colorado State
AIR FORCE over Army
New Mexico over TCU
Wyoming over SAN DIEGO STATE
Sun Belt Conference
ARKANSAS STATE over Florida International
Middle Tennessee over LA-MONROE
WAC
Nevada over NEW MEXICO STATE
BOISE STATE over San Jose State
Louisiana Tech over IDAHO
FRESNO STATE over Utah State
1A-Independents
Western Kentucky over CHATTANOOGA
I’d be very careful turning on any gas appliances in your house if you continue to put up pictures of the Red Sox… even though I know J-man handles the art, I blame you.
Your column made me puke in my mouth a little bit. I hate you.
I snuck the picture in there before J-man got a chance to look at it. He is blameless.
The fact of the matter is this: When it was 3-1 Tribe you all were talking shit and busting out the Popsicles. Well, seven games later you see the results. I feel that it’s only fitting that you have to look at this and just suffer all fall and winter.
That’s what you get for being a part of a fan base that waves white flags at their home playoff games … embarrassing.
Thats such fucking bullshit and I’m tired of hearing about it. If the Red Sox shmuck owners gave Boston fans white towels at the gate like they did at the Jake, all of those front running a-hole Red Sox fans would proudly wave them as well. The Red Sox fans look less “embarrassing” due to lack of options. No fan base is immune to this - especially Front Running Nation. If they gave you guys Green Dildos at the Gate everyone would be jamming them up their asses after 2 strikes.
And yes, Green Dildos is a proper noun.
And for the record I am vehemently against the towel waving. I did not wave the towel at the game I went to and never will wave a towel. I’m just saying that no mass of fans, in total, would defy any sort of giveaway. Also for the record, I’ve been drinking Great Lakes Christmas Ale and writing an article. One is going better than the other.
Pats will win, but it won’t be by 2 TDs. Also, Northwestern is what I would call an open offense and they will beat Iowa tomorrow.
Peace
See Fan, I kept debating on this one as well … but I’m going with the momentum of Iowa right now.
Seriously, they are the hardest team to pick every week.
Crowell, nothing like a fan base waving white towels to symbolize the feelings of an entire fan base.
And no, I wouldn’t shove a Green Dildo up my ass … well maybe if Papelbon asked me to.
I wonder why Chase Daniels gets no love on the Heisman list…this kid has Missouri at #9 in the country with 1 loss to Oklahoma…they lost by 10 to Oklahoma and then wood shedded Nebraska and Texas Tech both whom were supposedly good…they have one true test left and thats against Kansas at the end of the year…he has a QB rating of 148 and 70% completion percentage…316 passing yards per game and 26 rushing…18 passing TD’s, 3 rushing TD’s and 8 INT’s…if they win out and beat an undefeated Kansas at home to end the year, why can’t he be a Heisman winner????
Because the Big 12 is shit.
Double C, the Big 12 is shit yet Graham Harrelll can get attention…that wouldn’t make sense buddy…
He has monster numbers. It’s totally different. It’s the Colt Brennan theory. Either you are a winner who wins big games against good teams (the Joe Theisman theory) or you don’t play anybody special or beat anybody special, but put up huge numbers. Since the Big 12 sucks I give Daniels and his okay stats no love.
Daniels did mop the floor with Graham Harrell’s team, so I’d give him more love than Harrell…
Touche
Hawks play horrid first half and dominant 2nd half again. Christensen makes me want to murder myself.
Billy Hoyle, while you may listen to Jimi, you can’t HEAR Jimi … remember that.
And it also translates over into the Heisman race.
Crowell made my point for me. If you are going to play on a fringe team (which I consider Missouri because they aren’t nationally known) you need to put up video game numbers … which Harrell and Brennan are doing.
But after today, I don’t feel like I can accurately talk about college football anymore. I told Crowell I was going to slink into a nice warm bath and open up some veins.
I will keep rooting for Chase because he’s a good player…another huge night for him….428 yards and 5 TD’s…
on a high note, the Seminoles did beat Matt Ryan and hopefully ruin his life…
Take it easy, Matty Ice!
I knew I was right about Ryan and BC. Second good defense he faced….second week in a row he struggled.
The lesson, as always… never doubt the Fan
Crowell, when are you going to unblock me on AIM?
You might as well get your taunting in now … and a day later I’m still drinking the kool-aid, but that could change.
Apparantly we got another commitment or two this weekend at ND. I don’t know how the fat man keeps pulling rabbits out of his gut but he does. Lately he’s more Gob Bluth than Bill Belichick.
I need to make a slight observation about the Big 12…they have 3 of the top 6 teams in the BCS…doesn’t that make that conference not total shit???
nope
fair enough
For the record:
5-0 in the spotlight games again this week
42 out of 53 overall
I think I will start picking NFL games this week too
Big 12 is not shit. I think Kansas and Missouri probably arent as good as their ranking, but they are very good. Big 10….now there is shit. After OSU gets beat by Michigan, this BCS is going to get ugly.
Texas sucks, Texas Tech sucks, Oklahoma St big let down, Colorado mediocre, Nebraska blows, Iowa St lost to Kent St, Baylor sucks ass, Texas AM fell apart.
Kansas is playing well, Missouri is playing well, and Oklahoma is the best team but underachieves in big spots. 3 out of 12 teams are doing well — and they are all in the top 10??? How? Who did they beat? I mean seriously look at Kansas’ schedule.
I’m not saying anything about the Big Ten with this statement. I’m not saying it is sweet. I do 100 percent believe the top half of the Big 10 would kill the top half of the Big 12. There is no convincing me that the Big 12 is anything other than shit. That’s all.