Urban Meyer went to my high school. He’s a Saint John Herald. I hate his guts. Why exactly do I hate his guts? Let’s start at the beginning.
In 2002 I graduated from Saints John and Paul in Ashtabula, Ohio. SSJP a Catholic school in a bad neighborhood, and soon, I’m sure, it will be boarded up. We are the smallest school in Ohio to field a football team, which has, on average, 23 kids on it every year. There were 33 kids in my graduating class.
The speaker at my graduation? You guessed it: Urban Meyer.
At the time, Meyer was a fledgling coach at Bowling Green. I had never heard of him before and I paid zero attention to his speech. I think he talked about his dad and a lot of our parents laughed at his jokes. I was thinking more about not tripping when I grabbed my diploma.
But after he spoke at my graduation I felt a certain kinship with the man. It’s not because I’m a frontrunner; I’m a loyal, hometown guy. That’s what I do. I root for Ohio people, and the closer they get to my hometown, the more I root for them. This means that my favorite starting pitcher is Brian Anderson and my favorite pudgy comedian with big glasses is Drew Carey. So in 2003 when he took over at Utah, I took notice. I was rooting for the guy.
Seriously, what are the odds of anyone successful coming out of Ashtabula, let alone SSJP? Meyer was an up and coming D-1 college football coach. He was on ESPN. I wanted Meyer to succeed – despite the fact he doesn’t really seem to care that he is from Ashtabula.
Fast-forward another two years. He dismantles Pitt in a BCS game and makes Alex Smith the #1 overall pick. Shamefully, I was still a fan of Notre Dame, and I was excited when I heard the Meyer to ND rumors. I planed on making shirts that said “Urban Meyer went to my high school.” But then it happened. Meyer took the job at Florida, and things haven’t been the same since.
I still rooted for him and believed that he was maybe the best coach in the game behind Jim Tressel. (Right now, I’d say he’s the best. Aaaand I just vomited on keyboard.) My uncle, a fellow SSJP alum, couldn’t do it. He hates all Florida teams. But I maintained my Meyer loyalty – the dude went to my highschool!
I don’t need to tell you what happened next. Now I hope Meyer dies in a fiery plane crash. But until that happens I have to just root against him, which doesn’t leave me happy most weekends. His Gators have two losses and I’m deathly afraid that it isn’t enough. I don’t want them anywhere near another title. This reign of gator-chomp terror has to end.
And it’s not fair really. It’s not fair that I have to hate the most famous person to ever come out of Ashtabula. It’s not fair that I have to root for his heart to explode on a daily basis. But I’m a Buckeye. No way around it. When all of Ashtabula decided it was “OK” that Ohio State lost to Meyer, some even openly rooting for it, I wanted to disown my hometown forever. Shameful. And it’s ESPECIALLY shameful because the guy is an asshole. Several people I know who were in school with Meyer said he was a jerk. Other than speaking at my graduation (did I mention that yet?) he hasn’t stepped foot in Ashtabula. He doesn’t send any of his millions to our dieing school to keep it alive. I really just hate everything about the guy. And it’s unfair.
So let’s see: He’s a jerk. He coaches in the SEC. He’s already won a title against his hometown team. And he doesn’t give money to his poor little Catholic school in his poor little hometown that will be closed in the next few years. If the Gators get back to the title game this year and win it, there is no God.
Other than that he’s great.
The Double C’s Awesome Poll: Week 7
1.Ohio St. (9, 10, 6, 6, 3, 1)
2. LSU (4)
3. Boston College (NR, NR, 12, 10,5, 3)
4. Oregon (NR, 18, 14, 14, 6, 5)
5. Arizona St. (-, 7, 7)
6. Oklahoma (12, 6, 5, 5, 9, 6)
7. Va. Tech (who cares)
8. Kansas
9. West Va./ South Florida
10. Florida / Kentucky
It’s hard to deny LSU the #2 spot. BC is undefeated, and they may prove themselves tonight, but right now a one-loss LSU is more impressive than BC. But LSU has weaknesses. I’m no longer frightened of them. Their defense has been terrible lately and their passing game is lacking due to injuries, and I don’t think it will get much better. The team in the DCA looking to get the biggest boost is Oregon. If they beat USC this week, it may be enough to catapult them past LSU and into the top 2. They have looked good all year and only have that tough loss to Cal on their resume. Arizona St? Yuck. Bob Stoops is once again doing his best to deny his team a spot in the national championship game, but they have rebounded from their stumble and seem to be on the right track again. Why is Kansas at 8? I have no idea. I can’t name you a guy on their team. But they haven’t lost yet in one of the craziest college football seasons in memory. That counts for something. The biggest problem with this list is that OSU is the lone Big Ten team. I’m furious about this. I thought about moving Michigan up the poll due to their recent good play, but I don’t think they deserve any respect after how they opened. I don’t care if they go through the Big Ten unbeaten. They need to be punished in the end.
Heisman Watch
Sorry for the QB heavy list, but I think these are the only interesting seasons happening at the moment after Desean Jackson let me down.
1.Andre Woodson – He is having the most memorable year in college football. He’s becoming a household name at Kentucky for god sakes. Only really good players (Tim Couch) can accomplish that. But seriously, he’s vanquishing some mighty and storied programs by himself this year. He’s my guy right now.
2. Mike Hart – He’s still the toughest player in the league. He is the only reason Michigan isn’t 2-6 right now.
3. Dennis Dixon – Another couple clutch victories QB’d by this guy and the conversation is over. Much like Woodson, only really good players (Akili Smith, Joey Harrington) can get recognition at Oregon.
4. Tim Tebow - He’s putting his cape back on!!! Shoot me in the throat.
5. Graham Harrell – What happens when the spirit and stats of Colt Brennan leave Brennan and inhabit the body of Harrell? No one gives a shit. Doesn’t seem fair. I’m putting him on my list.
Saw*Kick Spotlight Game of the Week
For the first time in its storied history, THE Ohio State University is the Saw*kick Spotlight Game of the Week. To say this game is big is to say Moby Dick was a guppy. This is enormous. The Buckeyes travel to Happy Valley, a place where they notoriously struggle, to square off against Penn State, Joe Pa’s glasses, and white shirts…at night. The Buckeyes last regular season loss came at the hands of the Joe Pa/white shirt army in 2005. The Buckeyes are No. 1 and have yet to be tested in this, the year of the upset. I think I – yup – I pooped my pants. I’m scared out of my mind for this game. Throw out their two tough Big Ten road losses to Michigan and Illinois because Penn St is a different team at home, with that crowd, at night, against the scarlet and gray. Records and stats mean nothing here. The Nittany Lions can salvage a disappointing year, or the Buckeyes could claim their landmark victory of the season and maintain a Ted Nugent-style stranglehold on the top spot of college football. I’ve got goosebumps… and some poop in my pants.
That’s all for this week ladies and germs. Tons of good games this week. Sit back, pop open an adult refreshment, enjoy the autumn weather, and watch some great football. Or, if you’re a Notre Dame fan, watch some subpar football. Or if you’re a West Virginia fan, watch Prison Break. Whatever, just watch it.
I also hate Urban Meyer. He is a douche and I want him to die a slow and painful death. Heralds football rules!
Wow. Welcome to the Heisman club, Matt Ryan. And no, I’m not happy about it.
You almost looked like a genius for putting LSU in front of BC.
But for that last two minutes, you would have been our best prognosticator…. not that I care about or like college sports, as you know.
Let’s be honest though fellas, Ryan looked Akili Smith-esque for the first 3 1/2 quarters of football. I know, good qbs find a way to win, but had VT not muffed the onside, we’d be talking about LSU and how Matt Ryan has looked poor against the only really tough defense he’s faced all year.
My prediction: BC loses 2 of its last 4. They play 4 straight above average teams and I think they lose to Miami and FSU.
I also don’t want to crap in the punch bowl for you guys, but I honestly think OSU loses two more games this year. I think they’ll lose this week and I think they’ll lose against Mich. I see a LSU vs Oregon title game. I think LSU is the best team in the land and I think Oregon has the best shot to move up with their remaining schedule.
Sorry to give bad news. As an Iowa fan, I inherently hate OSU….but as a Sawkick fan, I inherently hate OSU and now ND because of Awful.
I hate to be a Ryan apologist because I hate BC and I hate him, but there was a driving rain and his receivers weren’t helping him out - from what I saw. And give me a week… I’ll figure out why LSU should still be ranked ahead of them. Or maybe I’ll just do it without a reason.
I’m sorry, but I love Urban Meyer … and maybe it’s because he’s an asshole.
After he turned down the Notre Dame job I did harbor some ill will, but that quickly dissipated.
There is something that just tickles my soul about a head coach who has the personality of a rock and just does his damnedest to piss everyone off around him … sounds like my favorite NFL coach Bill Belichick.
Yeah Awful, but Meyer doesnt cheat and have players who cheat. Other than that, same type of person.