The baseball playoffs are upon us, and I couldn’t be happier with the way things have turned out thus far. It started off with a bang on Matt Holliday’s not so safe home plate slide in the playoffs, and kept going with Kenny Lofton acting like it was 1995 last night. There have already been some eerie turns of events for all teams involved, especially the Yankees. I want to say a few things about this before J-Man and Double C send me anthrax.
I really couldn’t be happier with the opening performance of Josh Beckett the other night. The guy is an absolute gamer. I keep having flashbacks of him, as a Marlin, destroying the Yankees in Yankee Stadium. The thought of this happening again makes me downright giddy. Only this time it looks as though it will take place at Jacobs Field, which brings me to the Indians. Before, I’ll admit, I was trying the reverse jinx, just like the bastard I am. My comments nearly started a riot on this site, but now that my reverse jinx has backfired, I’m in a corner here. After that first game, I am legitimately terrified of the Indians. After the top of the first, where Damon led off the game with a homer, and C.C. threw roughly 75 pitches, I thought it was over. I thought that New York’s savvy would come through by taking a lot of pitches and exposing a weak Cleveland bullpen. Now I want you other dedicated readers of this site to correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t really peg Cleveland as a team that could explode for ten plus runs for any game, let alone against the Yankees.
I want NO part of the Indians in the ALCS, so tonight, I have to root for Fausto Carmona to need an emergency appendectomy, sorry, it’s just the way it is. It’s going to come down to who wants it most in the ALCS, and the advantage goes to Cleveland, they are hungrier. Let’s face it, a coaching match up between Tito Francona and Eric Wedge is like watching chess at the Special Olympics. A lot of the Red Sox players have their rings now, and they are content. Outside a few of them (including Beckett) I just don’t see a sense of urgency in them. In conclusion, I hope something awful happens to the Indians charter plane or whatever so the Yankees by default make it on to the ALCS. I’m terrified of Cleveland, while New York only has two pitchers (Joba Chamberlain and Philip Hughes) that I am at all scared of.
Anyways … on to the picks. As always, the home team is in caps.
UCLA over Notre Dame
While I still say that Notre Dame football is heading in the right direction, UCLA is just a much better football team right now. I will guarantee however that Notre Dame will cover the absurd spread (-20.5). Notre Dame has gotten better every single week; they just need to put a whole game together like the second half of the Purdue game. Notre Dame fans are starting to see glimpses of the future, and the talent we have simmering. Freshmen receivers Duval Kamara and Golden Tate looked ready for prime time, while several other freshmen are starting to take that next step. This is honestly like watching my own children grow … exciting time to be an Irish fan.
The fact that I have to watch this game on my computer makes me want to punch babies. It’s Notre Dame, they have the largest fan base in the country. Television executives, fuck you. You constantly screw up the coverage of college football in the country. I mean look at your coverage map … I hate you so much. Because you are all assholes, I’m stuck sitting in front of my computer watching Notre Dame.
Big 10
Ohio State over Purdue: The game of the week in the Big 10 isn’t nearly as good as it seems. Purdue was exposed last week by a fatally flawed Notre Dame team. Ohio State is not the number four team in the country. Buckeye fans, it’s just the way it is. The flaw with this current edition of the Buckeyes is a lack of balance on offense. They cannot execute the short to intermediate passing game. They are fine going deep, but against good coverage you are screwed. They have the running game to effectively run play-action to the tight end and slot receivers, they just don’t do it. Another question, why does Jim Bollman (Ohio State Offensive Coordinator) treat his tight ends like they have leprosy? He never throws to the tight ends, and he’s got some solid ones.
So, to recap in college football right now we have USC, LSU, and a crapfest of pretenders from 3-15. The rest of the Top 25 is rounded out by a bunch of teams that couldn’t stay within 30 points of the top two, and within 15 points of 3-15.
Wisconsin over ILLINOIS: Wisconsin has the same flaw as Ohio State, but it’s not as bad, because they actually use their fullbacks and tight ends in the passing game. They have some holes, but they aren’t as wide as the ones the Buckeyes sport. As for Illinois, thank you Arrelious Benn for making me hate you even more after you rescinded your verbal commitment to Notre Dame. I’m now rooting for you to suffer a broken fibula every week.
MICHIGAN STATE over Northwestern: Northwestern looked downright tough as they fought a good Michigan quad tooth and nail last week. Unfortunately, Michigan State is about ready get on the exit top tier Big 10 teams. Although they will still be playing Notre Dame every year, I’m glad to have Michigan State back, its good business.
PENN STATE over Iowa: Do you think Kirk Ferentz spends all day in his office calling up those NFL GM’s to see if they still have jobs for him? He’s making a shit-ton of money in Iowa, but he pretty much maxed them out for as good as they can get. Bottom line, as long as you are in Iowa, you will never compete for a national championship. Can you imagine him making a pitch to a recruit, “Yeah, every September, before homecoming, we have the Apple Cider festival, and it gets pretty wild!”
Minnesota over INDIANA: Put Minnesota in the same category as Northwestern as a potential dogfight candidate. Easy Michael Vick, I mean that they are a tough scrappy team that isn’t quite ready to compete with the big boys.
MICHIGAN over Eastern Michigan: I guess I can’t really criticize Michigan for playing these games anymore. I was about ready to type the sentence, “Why are they playing this game?” when I remembered the good ol’ Appalachian State game. I will stand by my prediction that Michigan will run the table until the Ohio State game.
SEC
LSU over Florida: Florida was exposed last week. They don’t respond well to a tough team that is willing to hang around until the fourth quarter. This team is not mentally tough, and that doesn’t really translate into success in Baton Rouge. Their swagger is gone, and they had a player arrested for felony burglary (although charges were later dropped).
TENNESSEE over Georgia: This is my upset special of the week. Winning in Tennessee is just a hard thing to do, and Matt Stafford is shaky enough to give me the confidence to make this pick. I mean look at this picture, do you trust him in a tight game? Granted he can pick up the women, but this is your starting quarterback in front of over 100,000 people on the road in the SEC?
AUBURN over Vanderbilt: Great game last week with the upset over Florida. Tommy Tuberville is the best big-game coach in the country. This isn’t a big-game, but the guy is incredible.
ALABAMA over Houston: I hate Nick Satan errr Saban.
MISSISSIPPI over Louisiana Tech: Ed Orgeron nearly pulled off the upset a few weeks back against Florida, but now he has to setting for a shot at the European Championship (remember that belt) against Louisiana Tech.
MISSISSIPPI STATE (Home Team) over UAB: Sly Croom must know what he’s doing after all.
ARKANSAS over Chattanooga: Darren McFadden should roll up his usual 250 yards … before halftime.
Big 12
Oklahoma over TEXAS: Oh how the mighty have fallen in one week.
KANSAS STATE over Kansas: My boy Josh Freeman is on his way!
Oklahoma State over TEXAS A&M: A few weeks later and this clip is on it’s way to the Youtube hall of fame.
MISSOURI over Nebraska: Did the Nebraska people remember that Bill Callahan was a cancer in Oakland before leading Nebraska to Big 12 mediocrity? When one of your former players (Charles Woodson) describes you like, “He’s not the type of person you want to be around. He’s just really brought a really negative vibe to this team over the course of the season” you might want to re-think hiring him.
Colorado over BAYLOR: Dan Hawkins has the ball rolling on the Boise of the Big 12.
TEXAS TECH over Iowa State: Iowa State is a lot worse than I thought, and Texas Tech might be a lot better than I thought.
ACC
CLEMSON over Virginia Tech: Virginia Tech is just dealing with too much this year. Between the horrors of last spring to the QB controversy this fall, it’s just too much. Clemson had a hiccup last week but will bounce back strong this week.
FLORIDA STATE over North Carolina State: I’m really not sure which Seminole squad is going to show up anymore, so I’m guessing the one that can beat a rotten NC State squad.
Miami (FL) over North Carolina: Miami is still in the middle of laying the foundation for a return to glory. North Carolina is at the start of the process.
BOSTON COLLEGE over Bowling Green: Matt Ryan and company should easily handle the hapless Falcons.
MARYLAND over Georgia Tech: The Fridge is on a roll baby! Look out women and children, hide your turkey basters!
Wake Forest over DUKE: Should I be worried that Duke coming to Notre Dame in a few weeks actually scares me when I make this pick?
Virginia over MIDDLE TENNESSEE: Al Groh has officially hooked himself up to the rejuvenation machine, and I take full credit.
Pac-10
USC over Stanford: USC, despite the scare from Washington, is still the best team in the country.
OREGON STATE over Arizona: Mike Stoops has started to clear out his office.
Arizona State over WASHINGTON STATE: Dennis Erickson has some mythical power over college football, and I don’t know what it is.
Big East
Cincinnati over RUTGERS: This is another one of my upset specials of the week. Both of these coaches are on their way up to bigger and better things. Look for Kelley to get an interview at Michigan at seasons end.
LOUISVILLE over Utah: This game could feature 150 points and I wouldn’t be surprised. Louisville’s defense has officially killed Brian Brohm’s Heisman hopes.
West Virginia over SYRACUSE: West Virginia needs to bounce back quickly to stay in the minds of the BCS selection committee.
South Florida over FLORIDA ATLANTIC: I want to see Jim Leavitt and Ed Orgeron in a cage match at Wrestlemania.
MAC
KENT STATE over Miami (OH)
Akron over WESTERN MICHIGAN
TOLEDO over Liberty
BALL STATE over Central Michigan
Northern Illinois over TEMPLE
Ohio over Buffalo
Conference USA
Central Florida over EAST CAROLINA
Tulane over ARMY
UTEP over Tulsa
Mountain West Conference
TCU over WYOMING (Home Team)
COLORADO STATE over San Diego State
AIR FORCE (Home Team) over UNLV
Sun Belt Conference
LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE over North Texas
Troy over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL
Arkansas State over LOUISIANA-MONROE
WAC
HAWAII over Utah State
Fresno State over NEVADA
SAN JOSE STATE over Idaho
BOISE STATE over New Mexico State
I just wanted to give a big thank you to Cleveland for Manny Ramirez.
See you in the ALCS.
Not being able to watch “Your” supposed team on TV for every game of the season is the first sign that you a dick of a fan.