Saw*Kick Media

Question: Why is it that the Indians have delivered a former Cy Young Award winner five losses this year but guys like Gil Meche will befuddle them for seven innings at a time?

Answer: Why don’t you shut the hell up and enjoy the fact that the Tribe has a six-game lead in the AL Central and stop worrying about stupid things like that.

Whew. There. That’s settled. And now that we don’t have to think about the technical aspect of the Tribe’s ups and downs (hey, that makes us just like Eric Wedge!), we can enjoy the fact that Labor Day was made more enjoyable with a win over the Twins and Johan Santana. Not only did it make the perennial Cy Young candidate 0-5 against the tribe this year, but it also gave C.C. Sabathia his second straight win and improved the big lefty’s record to 16-7 this year. That 16th win may just give Sabathia one last run at the Cy Young Award himself – though the chances are slim and, unlike C.C., getting thinner every day.

So now C.C.’s prediction that the team would take the division, once a seemingly impossible task given the fact that the offense played a month of baseball without taking an educated swing, is coming to fruition. After taking 14 of their last 18 games, the Tribe looks to be back on track and is continuing to find ways to win games that they, well, shouldn’t be winning.

So maybe the Wedge Theory is true, though I’m still skeptical. Maybe as fans we can just sit back and stop asking the manager to tinker with this team. Instead of making managerial adjustments to hitting techniques and strategies, I guess we can all just be like Wedgie and bank on a pearl-necklaced rookie to continue to bolster this offense through the most important stretch in Cleveland baseball since 2001. No big deal.

I hope that didn’t sound too sarcastic. It wasn’t meant to. Sure, I’m still skeptical. But for the first time since Wedge took over, I’m letting his calm take me over. If he has faith in this team then I have faith as well… I guess.

Jimmy Dugan’s Squad
I had a bad fantasy draft this year in my big league. It’s been on my mind ever since.

I had a strategy. I did. With a scoring system that is running back heavy, I planned to stock pile the running backs in order to trade them for players of my choosing later.

And, to my credit, that may still happen. For now, however, I have a team chock full of the Travis Henrys and Ronnie Browns of the world. It’s about as exciting as a CNN special on the history of republicans.

Yesterday I looked at the disappointing Jimmy Dugan’s Squad roster somewhere around 800 times. It made me sad. I waited one round too long and Kellen Winslow II was gone. I took a chance on Tony Romo one round too early. I wasn’t paying attention in the 10th round and forgot that there was still an open season on The DreamBoat, so instead of praying for Brady Quinn to get in week eight, I will probably be playing against him.

Basically, the weekend was ruined. See, a fantasy draft is supposed to be like Christmas. There’s great food (this year the DeAngelis family came through with some great pulled barbeque chicken sandwiches), better company that you get on the actual Christmas and the chance that something magical will happen. This year that all fell through, like the Christmas where my mom bought me Miami Hurricane sweatpants – what the hell was that about?

Now I’m wondering how long I should be upset about it. It’s not the money, really, though as defending league champion I would like to count on the $500 prize at the end of the season, it’s more about the feeling that I threw away one of the more important days of the year.
And then, when I started getting depressed about that, I got more depressed when I realized that I was upset about a fantasy football league. Is this what life has become? The answer, of course, is yes.

And that’s the saddest thing of all. Well, except for my running back situation – that’s actually the saddest thing of all. So I guess how lame my life is ranks as the second saddest thing of all…

Conchords
I’m not an addicted ‘Entourage’ watcher, but I’m a casual fan with a roommate who always puts aside 30 minutes a week for the show. Thus, I have kept up on every episode over the last two years and have often blocked out an hour of my ever-valuable time to watch the so-called comedy and then the program that comes on thereafter (because, well, I’m already sitting down).

Last season, I fell in love with the Louis C.K. vehicle ‘Lucky Louie’ before its cancellation. This year, I fell in love with the New Zealand folk singing duo of Brett McKenzie and Jermaine Clement in ‘Flight of the Conchords.’ And I’ve been wrestling with the fact that the show may never return ever since I fell for it. Despite the humorous accents of the two co-stars, cameos by funny personalities like Demetri Martin, and the use of the rap name Rhymenocerous, the show has received mix fan reviews and only will take flight for a second season in 2008 after much debate at the HBO offices.

I’m not sure if this is the fault of the show, HBO, or you, but I’m blaming you. Why don’t you watch the show? It’s clearly not a show for the ‘Entourage’ crowd, as it lends itself to a ridiculous blend of sensationalist humor and thoughtful, smaller jokes that can go unnoticed on first viewing. Since that lacks the blatant nudity and fraternity-style aggression of the Hollywood friends, it can easily soar right over the head of the average HBO viewer.

But you’re a S*KM fan and thus smart enough to zip your pants up and look in the mirror without giving yourself a set of stitch marks on your crotch. You are the type of person that should be watching this show. So, go watch it. Make HBO happy that it kept this show alive for one more season and together we can make a third season happen.
There, that was my charity cause for the month.

Watch this right now
You’ve probably seen this, but if you missed the 2007 Ms. Teen America clip where Ms. South Carolina explains why one in five Americans can’t locate their home country on a map, you need to put the porn site on hold for a few more minutes and watch it right now.

Here is the link, since you are too lazy and unemployed to look it up yourself.

If you enjoyed that, you need to follow-up by going to this site. It’s a great site that will help U.S. Americans get the maps they deserve. My favorite is the guy who maps out the 11 cars that his Asshat neighbors keep in their shared driveway. It’s priceless. For U.S. Americans, The Iraq and South Africa.

For Michigan fans
Ha F’n Ha.

Try to live that one down. Go ahead. Try. Remember that it’s 2007 and I still can’t see Chris Webber without mimicking a timeout call. That was nothing compared to this. Think on that.

-MoneyMike pretty much took this week’s column off as he continues to work on his move from North Olmsted to Lakewood. Drop him a line if you want to help him move his couch this Saturday.

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