[What you are about to read is the first submission by Tim Foor, referred to by J-Man and myself as “Awful Human Being,” because he was born in Ohio and has rooted for out-of-state teams AND gloated about them and bashed ours his whole life. Not cool. Anyhow, I still appreciate his college football knowledge. I’ve brought him on board to forecast the upcoming games, and he will be a staple of my Unnamed College Football Weekly Report from here on out. I wasn’t expecting a submission this week, but he gave me one anyway. That’s how little this man has to do. But I figured I’d post it anyway so you could get used to this guy, and welcome his unique, differently biased voice to Saw*Kick with open arms…ready to strangle him. I give you, the Awful Human Being!]
“Awful human being” Tim Foor’s college football picks
To the loyal Sawkick readers,
In one sentence: Your savior is here. Feel fortunate, you will now have weekly analysis from someone who has both played and coached at the collegiate level of football. I’ve been in film rooms, I’ve been out on the recruiting trails, and I’ve been in the booth and on the sidelines during more than Intramural flag football games.
Before we delve too deep into the column, you deserve to know a little bit about myself. Unlike Chris and Joe, I hate pretty much anything having to do with Ohio sports (except high school football, which I will vehemently proclaim to be the best in the nation), especially the Ohio State Buckeyes. In the eyes of Mr. Crowell and Giangola, this makes me a sports bigamist, but these were the teams I was taught to cheer for when I was an infant, I have always cheered for them, and will continue to do so.
I root for the following teams:
College Football: Notre Dame
MLB: Boston Red Sox
NFL: New England Patriots (though I will admit to flirting with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers during my freshman year in college … I was high on Vicodin (knee surgery) at the time and had a man crush on Hardy Nickerson)
NBA: Boston Celtics
NHL/WNBA: They are one in the same anymore, I just don’t care
This is just the way it is, and the way it always has been with me. With that in mind, I will always offer fair and objective analysis of all teams. Take my beloved Fighting Irish for example. Last weekend they were mopped up by a stingy Georgia Tech squad 33-3 while the Notre Dame offensive line gave as much resistance to an eight men in the box as Paris Hilton. It is what it is, and I will always call it that way.
And with that grand introduction to what is now the greatest mind on this site, here are my college football picks for week two (Home team in caps).
PENN STATE over Notre Dame
It pains me to admit this, but this just isn’t Notre Dame’s year. Here is the team in a nutshell; Notre Dame’s juniors and seniors just aren’t as good as most team’s juniors and seniors (Thank you Tyrone Willingham … I hate you more every day). You win with those two classes, you don’t win with freshmen. For example, look at Florida last year; they WON with Chris Leak and Brandon Siler, they were complimented by Tim Tebow and Percy Harvin.
Reading the Notre Dame message boards (as I do every day) our only hope really seems to be if Joe Paterno really decides to put his stamp on the game and gets back into the Wing T, wasting one of the best receiving corps in America. That’s our hope right there, that a senile coach shows up … Ladies and Gentlemen your 2007 Fightin’ Irish! Please check back in 2009 when we are competing for the BCS National Championship.
OHIO STATE over Akron
Ohio State continues their run towards the MAC championship with another easy test in the form of the Akron Zips. Thanks to Michigan, the lesson has been learned not to overlook any game deemed as a “Slam Dunk” by anybody.
The only interesting subplot in this game is Akron tailback Dennis Kennedy was once an Ohio State recruit, but couldn’t qualify academically (yes, I thought it was an error too) so then went to Akron. The fact that Kennedy couldn’t get into Ohio State of all places means he’s probably taking classes like Golfing or AIDS Awareness. Nevermind, what self-respecting school would have those classes anyways?
One thing that is making me ready to stab any Buckeye fan this year is their reluctance to show any support for Todd Boeckman. Boeckman, the Saint Henry (same school that produced Bobby Hoying, Jim Lachey, ect.) graduate is just a winner. He won a state championship his freshman year in high school, and you are going to throw this guy on the railroad tracks? He paid for a year of school just so he could be a Buckeye, and you scream for Antonio Henton? This is tough to admit, but I love Todd Boeckman. He’s a leader, he’s a winner, and he’s got all the tools to be a great quarterback … so give the guy a break
MICHIGAN over Oregon
This one I know I am going to get a ton of flak over, but let’s take an honest look at this game.
Oregon, on paper, is a bigger, faster, stronger version of Appalachian State, who in case you live in North/South Dakota and you have not heard, beat Michigan last week. So why do I pick the Wolverines? They are down and backed into a corner, and when you have senior leadership like Michael Hart, Chad Henne, and Jake Long you will come out like Oprah Winfrey at a buffet. Look for a high scoring game as Michigan’s inexperienced defense will be put to the test by All Pac-10 candidates Dennis Dixon and Jonathon Stewart (my favorite back in college football). Look for the Henne/Mario Manningham combo to pick up one score in the air, and Hart to have at least 150 on the ground as Michigan earns back some respect.
MICHIGAN STATE over Bowling Green - Mark Dantonio has this Spartan squad, who has always been talented, firing on all cylinders. They are a great sleeper pick for the Big 10.
MINNESOTA over Miami (OH) - New Minnesota mentor Tim Brewster now knows he has to get back to the smash mouth style that has made the Golden Gophers one of the best teams in the Big 10 lately.
Wisconsin over UNLV - Wisconsin will win the Big 10 title this year. They are the most balanced they have ever been on both sides of the ball.
IOWA over Syracuse - Syracuse could be the worst team not named Buffalo in all of college football.
PURDUE over Eastern Illinois - Another Purdon’t team, another 7-5 season … Hello Alamo Bowl!
ILLINOIS over Western Illinois - Ron Zook can’t coach, but man can he buy … umm err convince players to come to Illinois!
Nevada over NORTHWESTERN - Chris Ault and his Pistol offense will come in and whoop on a young, but quickly getting better Northwestern squad.
Indiana over WESTERN MICHIGAN - Indiana is playing for their fallen coach Terry Hoepner. They, along with Michigan State are going to knock off one of the biggies (Ohio State, Michigan, Penn State) this year.
RUTGERS over Navy
West Virginia over MARSHALL
OKLAHOMA over Miami (FL) – I like what Randy Shannon is doing, but not yet.
Nebraska over WAKE FOREST – A one year dream for the Demon Deacons becomes a nightmare quickly against an underrated Nebraska squad.
CLEMSON over UL-Monroe – The best backfield in the country resides in “Death Valley.”
GEORGIA TECH over Samford – I never want to hear the name “John Tenuta” ever again.
California over COLORADO STATE – DeSean Jackson is my dark horse for the Heisman.
TEXAS A&M over Fresno State – Jorvorskie Lane, Michael Goodson and Stephen McGee are the most talented backfield in the Big 12.
Boise State over WASHINGTON – I’m praying that Chris Petersen runs up the score on Willingham’s crew. I never, EVER want to see Willingham put up one finger for the PAT ever again in my life.
TEMPLE over Buffalo – Battle for the worst team in college football.
VIRGINIA over Duke – Al Groh’s last stand.
Alabama over VANDERBILT – I hate Nick Saban, he’s a liar, a coward … but he can coach.
CENTRAL MICHIGAN over Toledo – Here’s hoping that Scooter McDougle passed TV class so he can rejoin the team next year (Blue Chips joke … if you don’t know about the movie Blue Chips, you shouldn’t be reading this)
BAYLOR over Rice – Rice will badly miss the play-calling of Major Applewhite.
WYOMING over Utah State – The Aggies are going to be competing with either Buffalo or Syracuse in the “Toilet Bowl.”
KANSAS STATE over San Jose State – By the season’s end, Josh Freeman will be a household name.
Missouri over MISSISSIPPI – Ed Orgeron should be clubbing his dinner every night, not running a major college football program.
BOSTON COLLEGE over North Carolina State – Tom O’Brien gets the homecoming he so richly deserves for making a lateral move to the ACC.
Ball State over EASTERN MICHIGAN – Got to love Bellaire, Ohio native Nate Davis at QB for the Cardinals.
FLORIDA STATE over UAB – Good to see all that money they spent overhauling the staff did a lot of good.
GEORGIA over South Carolina – Spurrier’s bunch isn’t good enough YET … see Notre Dame.
UTAH over Air Force – Utah still has enough talent left over from Urban Meyer to beat the likes of Air Force.
North Carolina over EAST CAROLINA – Butch Davis knows how to run a college program … NFL … well ask Crowell. [Crowell’s answer: Fuck Butch Davis.]
UCLA (home team) over BYU – UCLA will beat up on quite a few teams this year, and don’t be surprised if they give USC all they can handle later in the year.
TENNESSEE over Southern Mississippi – Maybe if the Golden Eagles had alum Bret Favre at Quaterback, on second thought, they don’t want him either.
TEXAS (home team) over TCU – Vegas has the line at +10.5 for Texas. If gambling were legal, I’d wager on TCU keeping this one close.
TULANE over Mississippi State – When Sylvester Croom can find a quarterback that will not throw six picks in a game; they will win games like this.
KENTUCKY over Kent State – Andre’ Woodson is the best signal-caller in the SEC, it’s too bad he can’t block for himself or catch his own passes.
TEXAS TECH over UTEP – Mike Price stays up too late at strip clubs and forgets to gameplan for the Mike Leach basketball on grass approach that makes Tech games fun to watch.
WASHINGTON STATE over San Diego State – The ghost of Ryan Leaf leads them to victory.
Hawaii over LOUISIANA TECH – Colt Brennan continues his quest to win a Heisman from the WAC.
AUBURN over South Florida – Auburn is only getting six points in this game (again, gambling IS illegal) which seems too low. South Florida is a good Big East school, but they aren’t THAT good.
LSU over Virginia Tech – You do not win night games at LSU, bottom line. Having an offense that can best be described as anemic doesn’t help matters either.
NEW MEXICO over New Mexico State – New Mexico has TWO college football teams?
ARIZONA STATE over Colorado – Watch Dennis Erickson turn ASU into a mid-level team in the Pac-10. Isn’t that just what they fired Dirk Koetter for? You go to ASU to party with beautiful coeds, not win Pac-10 titles. I couldn’t focus there either.
FLORIDA over Troy – With Troy’s smash mouth offense, they will keep it close until their first three and out, which will be their first series.
OKLAHOMA STATE over Florida Atlantic – Another Cowboy squad, another dangerous offense.
Ohio over LOUISIANA-LAFAYETTE – Frank Solich seems to have found his niche’ at the nice MAC school.
Maryland over FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL – Ralph Friedgen reminds the Golden Panthers that “You must protect this house!” but the message is muffled by a chicken wing stuck in the Fridge’s esophagus.
Memphis over ARKANSAS STATE – Too bad John Calipari isn’t illegally bringing players in to their football program.
SMU over North Texas – The Mean Green are going to be no match for Eric Dickerson and Craig James.
Holy shit that was a lot of info. You are telling me Notre Dame will compete for BCS championship in 2009?
By compete, do you mean be overrated at the beginning of the season, win some cupcake games against underachieving teams and then get blasted in BCS? If thats what you mean, I hear ya brother. Notred Dame will be there in 2009…..and in 2010-3012.
Wow Tim. Not terrible.
How about this though:
“One thing that is making me ready to stab any Buckeye fan this year is their reluctance to show any support for Todd Boeckman. Boeckman, the Saint Henry (same school that produced Bobby Hoying, Jim Lachey, ect.) graduate is just a winner. He won a state championship his freshman year in high school, and you are going to throw this guy on the railroad tracks?”
If you’re going to be a fatass, at least be a fatass that has solid information. Todd didn’t lead the Skins to a title his freshman year, they lost in the finals you Charlie FrontButt worshiping moron.
Wow. At least you’re finally giving a kid from the MAC props though. Sadly, Todd was only the 3rd best High School QB in the MAC that year.
Sorry, I meant he was only the 3rd best his senior year.