I had another article written, but this one popped into my mind on the way to work so the other one will have to wait.
My twenty second birthday arrived making me a year older, yet, I matured dramatically and realized I was way too irresponsible the last sixteen months – just like I was supposed to be. To refuse necessary change causes one to remain ignorant. The time has come to change, now I am officially pumped for the next chapter. The last three days have been somber, rainy, dreary, and cool. What a fitting way for the official start of the next chapter of my life now that so many of my cronies have returned to the path of higher education, while I, for the first time in seventeen years, only could continue on with my job.
And frankly, I love days like the ones we experienced the last few days for a number of reasons. These days occur on occasion in late August and September in northeast Ohio. Despite the negative rap NE Ohio receives, I love the various weather changes that occur because I attribute certain memories to different seasons. This particular time of year has the most memories for me and here is the list of 10 reasons/memories that I have enjoyed in my young twenty two years of life:
1) The defining moment that corrupted me and is the ultimate reason I am such a jackass while my brother is such a nice kid. Third grade, I get on a crowded bus and am looking for a seat. Lou Cirino says “Hey sit with me and Keith.” The end all of my niceness. I attribute him for me swearing and being a wild man. If I did not have a big brother, this alone would be best man worthy.
2) Be honest, by about late August, we all start to get sick and tired of what we are doing Whether it be hanging out with the same groups of friends, doing the same shit over and over (dinner and a movie, putt putt, going over the friends house with the pool, etc.), or a shitty summer job. I compare all of these things to Terrell Owens because they are all fun for a while but eventually wear out their welcome.
3) Getting to go back to high school. Sounds ridiculous I know. But I was always one of those people that school came easy to so it was never a burden. Plus I was what most would classify as an “asshole” or “cock” in school so teachers and classmates alike tended to hate me, which always led to an entertaining time. The only gripe I have was having to get up at 7:05 to get there by 7:18. Everyone is on good terms when they return to school this time of year. This will get old, that is for damn sure, but the first few months are a blast.
4) Friday Night Lights- Anyone who attended high school with me knows that I loved HS football games, especially senior year. Aaron Shumaker and myself were the only two to tailgate with our tiny grill before the first game senior year. However, our passion spread to others. On homecoming night, we cooked 100 hot dogs, 30 burgers, 4 steaks and 4 shish kabobs. We had everything from cowbells, five gallon buckets with drumsticks, horns, megaphones, bird whistles, etc. It was a blast. (To those of you thinking, “what fags.” First off, go fuck yourself. Second, my mom would not let me play football. Third, it really is a brilliant idea. Think about it, all the guys are on the field playing, with exception of like four of us and like 40 girls. I like the odds.)
5) I was actually a fan of Homecoming dances. I am a very superficial guy that likes people who dress well. Homecoming is a time when girls can take the step from the purgatory to the promised land. I am a big fan of the dress to impress, and this occasion calls for it. Plus I actually enjoy dressing up also. I feel a lot like Carson from Queer eye from the straight guy right now. The sooner I stop writing the more likely I am to feel straight again.
6) Buckeye Saturdays, and AJ Hawk and the corresponding festivities- no further definition needed. Plus it would not be fair to define since there is more to be added to this one in the not near enough future. For your information, Chris and I will be watching the OSU-Texas game together with our old college friends, and I plan on Chris having a Bill Simmonsesque running diary of the events. That column should be a doozy.
7) Going back to college- the things you can do in college do not exist in real life. Take a nap at any given time. Don’t go to class if you don’t feel like it. Stay up all night. Re-immerse yourself in video games and dvd watching. Clean slate for everyone where no one knows your past. More free time then ever imagined that we still find ways to waste it. Drinking any day of the week because, like I said, you don’t technically have to go class. I do suggest attendance policies to save you from yourself.
October Saturday Night. Ohio State Campus. Drinks consumed. Go to a party. Running the Keg. Go to take a piss. Random head from unnamed girl exactly one month after a break up. Yes you read that last one right. No further details your honor.
9) Dustan and I painting a W and U on our chest on one of the coldest nights of the year for a football game. Chris chronicled this experience which makes me in diary format also. I don’t remember a lot of it due to alcohol and cold.
10) The weather- The temperature is ideally cool, the sun is not bright, and the humidity is not so bad. For a fat kid like me this lessens the sweating profusely problem that summer creates for me. Additionally, one is blessed with numerous options: shorts or pants; long sleeves or short sleeves; tee shirt, sweater or hoodie; The combinations are endless, just like the possible combinations of Browns and Buckeyes TD combos this year (Troy Smith solo, Troy to Ted Ginn, Ginn Solo, Troy to Gonzo, Chris Wells, Tonio Pittman, JT making himself eligible and playing running back, Greg Oden to Daquean Cook on the deep ball, etc.)
I love this time of the year. I forgot to mention how beautiful it is to sleep in on a Saturday morning when it is dark outside all day long. That is soooo sexy. I have not been able to do that since before I started working at age 14, so I am pumped to get my sexy on here soon. Fire up Bucks.
On a side note, in regard to my whole “mature” thing, all bets are off on Buckeye Saturdays. It is just not fair. Look forward to bonging my first beer in almost a year Saturday at noon before golf before the Buckeyes kick Garrett Wolfe’s ass 1,000-0, and say we were just tuning up for next week, we will pull out all the stops then.
had to cover my eyes for some of this
love,
your clammo